May, Mental Health Awareness Month, has already come and gone for this year. It was comforting to hear so many people—from celebrities to us “normal folk”—sharing their struggles. It seemed like every time I had the tv on, someone was sharing their story…and I loved it! The more we can give a voice to mental health issues, the quicker we will stop the stigma.
I remember watching an interview (I wish I could remember who it was or where I saw it—maybe Entertainment Tonight?) with a celebrity who was asked how she knew she needed to get help for her mental health; she said it was when she was too comfortable with the thought of being dead. I felt that in my gut. Why? Because that’s one of my “checks.”
When my mental health is “good” (whatever that really means), I want to light the world on fire. My internal compass is pointing towards a future of a million ideas. I want to save the world and do all the things. When my mental health is “bad,” it feels like those matches I would be using to light the world on fire are soaking in a puddle. My compass has been shattered by a sledgehammer. Not only do I not know where I’m going, I don’t even feel like I know where I am now. This was how I felt for about a year until I went to my doctor about four months ago.
This is the first time—in about two decades of being treated for anxiety and depression—that I’ve ever had a doctor work with me to find not only the right dose of medication, but also find the right combination of meds to successfully manage both the depression and the anxiety. I’ve never tried a “combo” before and now that I’ve been on it for a few weeks I feel like my matches are drying out. My compass is still a bit cracked, but I feel like I at least have all the pieces of it gathered back together and at the repair shop.
What is “good” mental health and how can one check in on themselves? For me, there are some key things I’ve learned about myself that I am able do when my anxiety and depression are under control. Some of those things are:
◦ Getting out of bed
◦ Taking a shower
◦ Making a to-do list
◦ Updating my planner
◦ Making any future plans
◦ Wanting to go out (shopping, movie, etc)
◦ Cleaning/household chores without feeling totally overwhelmed
◦ Knowing that being alive is not something I’m going to change
When I am unable to do some of these things, I know it’s time to seek help—especially the last one. What would be on your list of checks? If you are struggling with anything that would be on your list, please let someone know—a partner, a friend, a doctor—and keep speaking up until you get the help you need.
Asking for help is hard, but it’s so worth it. If your matches are soggy or your compass is cracked, you deserve to have those fixed. Keep holding onto hope. You are worth it.
Whe crabby Paty jut can’t gain control and then tops it off with weepy Wendy. Those two reak havoc togethe. That’s when I cue in…usualy a few days to late that a med incease is needed.