When I get a new student in my class, I give them a slip of paper that says, “What I Want My Teacher to Know.” I explain that it’s totally optional, but if they choose they can tell me a preferred name, preferred pronouns, how they learn best, a fun fact about them…anything!
I’ve been trying very hard to remember and respect preferred names and pronouns, and I tell them if I mess up they can absolutely correct me. The relief that some of them express to me because of this is palpable. They feel valued for who they are as individual, unique human beings…as they should feel.
This past summer, a teacher in Virginia was suspended after refusing to address students by their preferred pronouns ( https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1270127 ). He was later reinstated until a full court hearing could take place.
I agree with the school district’s decision to suspend him. But, not everyone agrees with me…especially the teacher who got suspended.
The president of Alliance Defending Freedom, Michael Farris, the organization defending the teacher in court, said, “Educators are just like everybody else—they have ideas and opinions that they should be free to express.”
Sounds nice on the surface, but let’s dive a little deeper.
My statement when kids ask about my political beliefs is, “It’s not my job to teach you WHAT to think; it’s my job to teach you HOW to think.” Let’s say that wasn’t my stance and I shared with students that my opinion about Donald Trump is that he is a racist, misogynistic liar, rapist, and cheat who should spend the rest of his days in a dank, moldy cell. I’m pretty sure the Alliance Defending Freedom would NOT be lining up to say my ideas and opinions should be free to express to students in school.
And they would be right—I shouldn’t say that in school. I would never say that to students. When you are a teacher, It’s. Not. About. You.
So back to our teacher colleague who refuses to address students by their preferred pronouns (and I’m also inferring preferred names even though it isn’t explicitly stated). I have a few problems with his stance.
First problem: the teacher himself uses a preferred name. He does not go by his given name of “Byron;” he goes by “Tanner.” Umm, hello, irony? Hypocrite? Double standard? Grr (insert eye roll here).
Second problem: It’s. Not. About. Him. When you step into a classroom—especially a public school classroom—you are there for any and every kid who walks through your door. It doesn’t matter what country they’re from, what language they speak, what religion they are, what disability they have, who their parents are, what gender they identify with, or if they live in a million dollar mansion or public housing. It is 100% about what is best for that child. Full stop.
Third and fourth problems: It’s not about his religion. Yes, he retains his freedom of religion in his classroom but he does NOT have the right to inflict that belief on others. It also has nothing to do with freedom of speech. A teacher can’t say anything they want in their classroom with no chance of consequences. I can’t teach that the earth is flat or that calculus is derived from Satan (even though it seems like it could be). If my religion says the earth is 6,000 years old, can I as a science teacher inform my students of that instead of what science has agreed upon? I really hope not.
Fifth problem: Why is it okay to teach students that respecting them is optional, but respect for teachers is demanded from students? Because adults are…older? That seems weird. The reason I think I’m able to have such good relationships with my students is that I respect them as individuals and don’t see them as “just a bunch of kids.”
Did the teacher feel his beliefs were not being respected? Probably. I wonder how his students felt. Probably the same—not very respected. We have to remember the most important people in our classrooms are our students, and they deserve our respect. If you aren’t willing to love every kid who walks through your door—the smelly kid, the loud kid, the gifted kid, the refugee kid, the star athlete, the chess prodigy, and the trans kid—please find somewhere other than a classroom to spend your days. Our students do not deserve judgement from us. They deserve the best from us.
